Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Who My God Is To Me

Isaiah 9:6
For unto us a child is born
Unto us a son is given
And the government shall be upon his shoulder
And his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor
Mighty God
Everlasting Father
Prince of Peace

My God is a wonderful counselor. I so thankful that I have Someone to talk to who knows every little detail and concern of my life and who is willing to give me counsel. How I need it! I feel so inadequate sometimes to the challenges that I face in life and God is there for me. I just need to slow down enough to listen. Rest and quiet myself before Him. He has so much He wants to share with me, so much wisdom to impart. Apart from Him I can do nothing of lasting value but in Him, all things are possible and He gives me the wisdom to do and say things that really matter and have value.
My God is a mighty God! We have a saying in our church: God is Mighty to Save, willing to heal and ready to revive! So true and I have to remember this when people seem to be faltering in their walks with God, when struggles against sin seem to be overwhelming, when nothing seems to be going as it should, when circumstances seem in opposition to God’s Word, --- My God is mighty! He is bigger than these things! He holds the world in His hands. Nothing is impossible for Him. He is real and He really is active in our world, bringing salvation, healing, deliverance and revival!
My God is an everlasting Father! How I love my Father God!! He is the most perfect Daddy and He loves each one of us sooo very very much! Just thinking about God becoming man, clothing Himself in humility and coming as a baby - Wow - what amazing love! He cares so deeply for me and wants the best for me, for you. He treasures me, values me, calls me His masterpiece, loves to dance and sing with me, rejoices with me, cries with me, hugs me, knows me - inside and out - and He loves me for me. I really love Him for Him. Everlasting love. It knows no end, knows no bounds, no limitations.
My God is the Prince of Peace! He speaks to the raging storms - be calm. He brings peace to my chaos. In the midst of chaos, His presence is there and He calms me and He calls me to rest in Him. To be peaceful in process. To trust that He is in control so I don’t have to be in control - I can just have peace in Him. I am not responsible to make something happen - He is. He is in control. I am simply along for the ride, trusting Him to guide my every step. Walking In His ways, as He shows me the way.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Merry Christmas 2010

Last year, I didn't write a Christmas letter because I had a new baby. This year, I have a new baby again. Writing a Christmas letter sounds like fun and I don't feel like folding laundry tonight. So I write while Timothy, our seven week old, snoozes on my lap. I'll try to sum up the most important things that have happened in the last two years.
We moved in May of 2009 to the other half of our friend's duplex. I promptly painted all the walls beautiful colors and filled all of our newfound space with many things, mostly toys. Our house has two floors, three bedrooms and a basement – it feels huge compared to the two bedroom apartment we had been living in. We love living so close to friends who love Jesus like we do. Although we would like to own a home, we are waiting on God's perfect timing and we are learning financial wisdom in the process.
Audrey was born on September 23, 2009. She has been so sweet and easy to care for, right from the start. She is 14 months old now, walking around and exploring everything within reach. Her older brothers adore her and she is definitely a daddy's girl.
We enjoyed visiting Jeremiah's sisters and their families in Phoenix, AZ last year in December. The desert is beautiful. We loved all the cacti and the sandy mountains but we would never want to live there ourselves. We enjoy green grass and cornfields. We love the four seasons. I'm glad that God has called us to pastor this church in Indianapolis. It's a really a great city – you're always welcome to move here and join us!
The year of 2010 started off with a big surprise – I was pregnant again! This through all of our plans for a loop. I feel that in many ways 2010 was repeat of 2009, except this year we ended up having a 9 pounds 9 ounce baby boy on October 21. He was born at home with a midwife. Homebirth is a wonderful option for healthy mothers birthing healthy babies. It is so much simpler and much more natural.
Alan will be 5 on New Years Eve. He is a real people person and a natural actor. He loves the stage and thoroughly enjoyed being a Rock Star in our Christmas play at church this year. He is a great big brother and is eagerly looking forward to even more siblings. Alan will be ready to start homeschool Kindergarten this year with a focus on learning to read.
Zachary is three and a half. He is a lot like his daddy, full of curiosity about how things work, sensitive to the world around him, and often lost in his own little world. He loves to play pretend with Alan and he loves his stuffed animals.
Alan and Zachary are attending Gentle Shepherd Preschool several mornings each week for a couple of hours. It's just around the corner from our house. The boys are memorizing scriptures, learning Bible stories, singing lots of songs and beginning to work on some early math and reading skills.
We believe that God has exciting things in store for our family and the church in the upcoming year. We focusing on having an open heart and an open home. Being filled with Holy Spirit and allowing God to move through us to touch people's lives through ours.
I pray that you are doing well. We would love to hear from you.

The Kolterman Family


God: When will you calm yourself? There is so much that I have to say to you. So much to show you. But you are so busy. Busy with tasks that never end, one after the other, always pressing. But you have one life to live – how will you live it? Will you live in My presence? Will you make My habitation your habitation? Will you be in Me?

Me: God, I don't know how. I don't know how to rest. It is so hard for me. I long for you but my mind is so easily drawn in so many directions. I am so easily distracted from You and the quietness that You call me too. I am too easily drawn away. I want You. I want to know You more. Help me to rest. Help me to quiet my soul before You so that I can hear You – the gentle whisper of You. The silent nudging of Your Spirit. Fill me. Fill us. Show us what doesn't matter. Help us to live for what matters most, to silence the desires for other things that have no lasting value. Open our eyes to the deception of this world and all the idols that it offers. Cleanse me Lord. Make me free. Free to quiet and worship You. Free to come before You and rest in You.

Friday, September 17, 2010

To Give Birth - Thoughts at 37 Weeks

To Give Birth – my thoughts at 37 weeks pregnant with Timmy

An act of giving. A gift. My small one unfolding, revealing, coming forth. Little mystery being discovered. A longing. A waiting. The unknowing of it all. The trusting. The placing of myself, my plans, my all in the hands of our Creator, the One who knows all. A daily act of surrender. Letting go. Letting be. Giving birth. Giving myself to the work of birth. Surrendering to sacrifice, joyfully. With expectation and hope. Looking forward to the knowing, the meeting, the birth. Little clothes. Soft skin. Little wrinkles. Tight grasp of fingers wraps my heart in new love, just imagining the moment. Placing little mouth to ample breast, giving more. Sustaining. Allowing myself to continue to be his all, his everything. Mothering. Allowing God to be my all, my everything. Fathering me. I am wrapped in His embrace and I give myself to new love. To life. To birth.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Lift Up Your Eyes

Ps. 121:1-3
“Lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip -
He who watches over you will not slumber;”

Thursday, February 25, 2010

My Father's House, a republished post

I love our church. It's small right now, but it's like a family. I believe we're going to keep that family feel even when we get larger. My husband and I and my inlaws (they help us out and they also have a church in Fort Wayne) have been thinking and talking a lot lately about church vision and strategy. God is teaching us a lot and we're in a process of change. I often feel like an apprentice - we have so much to learn about serving God as pastors. We want to be a church that is both attractive to people and attractive to God - seeker sensitive and God sensitive. We're a spirit-filled, nondenominational church. We believe the Bible and try to live like it. We really want to see unchurched people saved and lives totally changed. We are praying right now for God to send us some more people who are already mature Christians - who can join our team and really dig in with us to the work of ministry - serving God together. Living life in fellowship with one another. I also really want to see people healed in their minds and emotions. I believe that God can not only heal people physically, but mentally as well. Anyway, here are some pictures we took our service last Sunday. Jeremiah is working on the websites and needed some pictures. This is Sue P. She switches off leading praise and worship with Jeremiah every other week. She is a very upbeat, generous and friendly person who gets things done. She gets you up and moving and involved in the worship - we love her and her family.

These are some of the people in our church.
This is Pastor Harley, my father in-law. He sometimes preaches at our church as well, especially lately while Jeremiah was taking a little break to get adjusted to our new life parenting two children.
We baptized a whole family this last Sunday - it was awesome!!! Sorry this picture is sideways. This is Bobby, the father. God is delivering him from alcoholism and giving him an awesome testimony of restoration.
This is the whole family, soaking wet, freshly baptized.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Help Haiti

I've been to the Dominican Republic twice on mission trips. It shares the same island with Haiti but the differences between the two sides of the island are like night and day. One is baron and spiritually dry, the other is experiencing an outpouring of God's spirit and blessing among the people and in the government. When I was in the DR (Dominican Republic) I had the opportunity to share Christ with some Haitians. They spoke French and we had a few little pamphlets in French. I was struck by the emptiness and hopelessness in their eyes. Since the quake, I have been praying a lot for the these people. For God's mercy and compassion. For His saving grace. I am sure that God is able to take this aweful catastrophe and use it for His glory. One way is through our little acts of compassion. Through our prayers and our giving.

Our church is thinking of using the money we've saved during our 21 day fast to plant a new church in Haiti through the Global 12 project. We are also supporting Hope in Action, an organization that a trustworthy friend of ours heads up.

Several popular bloggers are giving money to various organizations when you post a comment or a link to your own blog.

Money Saving Mom is going to donate a $1 because I'm linking this post up with hers. You can link yours as well and check out some of the other blogs on her site that are joining the cause.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

God is BIG enough

Tomorrow I am teaching kids church again for the first time since Audrey was born. As I began preparing today, I was struck by the main point of tomorrow's lesson:

God is powerful enough to help me do what He wants me to do!

As I really think about that, I realize how often in doubting my own power, I doubt God's power. I'm not really looking to Him and trusting Him when I am caught up in my own weaknesses and failures. God is Big! This reminds me of the song, "I've got a very big God, Oh, He's always by my side. A very big God, by my side, by my side."

I have to remember to simply do what God asks, knowing He was the power to enable me to do exactly that. What a relief.

Friday, January 8, 2010

The Perfect Home

"Homemaking is about making a home --- and a home is a safe place, a refuge, a place to be real and alive and truest true."

"A perfect home is an authentic, creative, animated space where Peace and Love and Beauty are embraced"

Lord, help me to embrace peace, love and beauty in my home. Make our home a place of peace, love and beauty. Forgive me God for the times yesterday when I lost my peace with my children. I want to know You God in every part of my life, for Your presence to animate our days. I surrender to You everything that I am and everything that I am not. I trust You. You amaze me, that You would use me, would trust me with such an awesome trust – in mothering these precious souls. We desperately need Your guidance Lord and Your wisdom for truly, apart from You we can do nothing.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Jesus, the human side

Yesterday I was struck again with the thought of God, becoming man. He was in all ways, tempted like I am, weak like I am, and yet without sin. That God took on the form of a man.

God, Jesus is identified with our weaknesses. He know what it is like to go through the things we go through. He knows family dysfunction. He knows what it is like to be doubted, questioned and attacked by those who know you best. He know how reputation can hurt you, just because you belong to a certain family.

Mark 6:3 In Jesus hometown, the people rejected Him.

"'Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and the brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? Are not his sisters among us?' And they took offense at Him and were hurt (that is, they disapproved of Him and it hindered them)...and they were caused to stumble and fall." AMP

vs. 4 Jesus was "not without honor except among His relatives and in His own house."

How did this affect Jesus? How did He feel? Can He sympathize with us when those closest to us dishonor us and trample our dreams? Trample our value.

I believe that Jesus was tempted even to doubt Himself at times.

His family was not perfect. It was large and loud. It was ordinary and normal. He was the son who didn't marry, who stayed home and remained with his family until He was 30. He became a carpenter like His earthly dad Joseph. Living normal, day to day life in community with others. His parents knew something of who He was, but not much, not how and not exactly. Although they knew He was divine, they lived life with Him. I'm sure in the everydayness of it all they sometimes and often forgot WHO HE IS. Life was busy. There were financial struggles. There was hardwork to be done. And overshadowing them all, the crual and taxing Romans consistantly made their worlds small and devalued. Jesus lived in a small world. A world where everbody knew everything about everyone else, small town stuff. Jesus was very human to them. The divine beginnings of Jesus life were sometimes forgotten in the day to day process of simply living. Jesus knew the divine. He remembered. Mary pondered it. Jesus lived it. He lived divinely human. He became in all ways like us so that we can truly become in all ways like Him.

Mark 6:6 "He marveled because of their unbelief."

Mark 6:11 "if any community will not receive and accept and welcome you, and they refuse to listen to you, when you depart shake off the dust."

Jesus didn't let the doubt, faithlessness and rejection of others get to Him - He shook off the dust. He departed and moved on. Their loss. No people pleasing for Him. He was looking for faith, for openness, for where He could work. When He couldn't work because of hostile hearts, He moved on. Internally and externally, He moved on. He didn't carry their rejection with Him in His heart because His identity and purpose were elsewhere. His identity was with His heavenly Father. He didn't allow His earthly family to define His purpose. He defined Himself in God and the purpose given to Him from His Father. We are to do the same.

Matthew 12:46-50
Jesus was speaking radically and offensivelly to the religious leaders and His family was seeking to speak with Him. We can only guess why, but given the context, it can be postulated that they weren't quite happy with Him. Probably they were disapproving of what and how He was speaking and they were trying to shut Him up. Here Jesus again gives us a clue to His identity when He calls those who do the will of God His true family.

Is. 53:2-5
2For [the Servant of God] grew up before Him like a tender plant, and like a root out of dry ground; He has no form or comeliness [royal, kingly pomp], that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him.
3He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him.
4Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy].(B)
5But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.

holy experience